SEX

Sex is a three letter word that makes most people very uncomfortable.  While everyone claims to enjoy sex the reality is that most people really do not.  This is particularly true for women over 55 years old.  One interesting observation that has lead to this conclusion involves the TV show, Sex in the City.  The character, Samantha, as portrayed in that series obviously enjoyed sex.  She understood that sex was not just for procreation but also for recreation.  She also understood that there was a difference between making love and making pleasure and was outspoken un her preference for the latter.  This leads to an interesting question; what is the word one would use to describe a woman like Samantha?  Terms like slut come to mind, but can anyone think of a complementary noun to describe the Samanthas of the world?  Another interesting question would be whether any married women want to socialize as couples with a Samantha and her man-of-the-moment?  This leads back to whether or not women, actually women over fifty-five years of age actually enjoy sex.  From all indications, they do not.  For one thing, most of these women do not like to look at themselves without clothes.  They look in mirrors and only see defects rather than assets.  While age and gravity work to prevent the older woman from looking like a Playboy centerfold, the reality is it is difficult to convince a partner to like her body, a necessary requirement for pleasurable sex, by the way, if she does not like her body.  Women should realize that it is not the appearance of the tools that make for good carpentry but the skill of the carpenter holding the hammer.  The same thing is true when it comes to sex for pleasure...skill trumps appearance every time.  However, social pressure tends to prevent women, in particular, from trying to become more skillful in the art of making pleasure.  In many cases, the “dislike” of sex comes from ignorance. From the time they first became aware of sex they were told by parents, teachers, preachers, and others that sex was bad.  They were told that those “special places” were untouchable.  Many women have never even seen what their own clitoris looks like let alone comfortable in what it’s purpose is.  In fact, it was as recent as 1966, when Masters and Johnson published much of their work that credibility was really given to women deriving pleasure from sex.  Prior to the 1900s most anatomy books did not even show the existence of the clitoris or the female prostate first called the Skene's gland.  Making matters even worse was the supposed need for medical treatment to prevent females from ejaculation that can accompany an organism.  Perhaps the answer to whether on not older women can enjoy sex for pleasure will lie in the extent to which culture has influenced a woman’s thinking.  While the cliché is that men give love in exchange for sex and women give sex in exchange for love, neither should be the case when it comes to sex for pleasure.  Both men and women should be using their bodies as well as the space between their ears to impart as much pleasure to their partner as they are able for no other purpose than making pleasure.